Wednesday, 3 February 2016

Whatsapp and Facebook Jokes in Hindi and English






Hi friends whatsappprofile.blogspot.in is a site where you can get all kind of WhatsApp  Status Quotes & Short Messages that you can share on WhatsApp, Facebook and also can send to your friends. We tried to cover all categories and events. Here are lot of WhatsApp messages for you. Looking for Best Status for your wall great way to brighten up your social networking profile page. You can find here Top rated & Most popular status quotes & short messages & Romantic Sms for WhatsApp Facebook Wall. We are updating an new status quotes every day. Keep Visit and enjoy Fresh Status Collection for your Twitter, Facebook Wall & WhatsApp Profile.You may also search from our site:Romantic rose day status ,Rose day history and background.Rose day wallpapers for facebook and whatsapp,Rose day celebration in uk,Rose day celebration in us,Rose day celebration in asia,Rose day celebration in india,Rose day celebration images and hd wallpapers for dektop

 http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/01/top-50-breakup-whatsapp-status-in.html

Whatsapp And Facebook Jokes In English

Santa: 14th February ko kya hai ?
Banta: Tere paas biwi hai ya girlfriend?
Santa: Biwi.
Banta: To phir Mahaveer Jayanti hai. 😛 😛 😛
Height of WHATSAPP forwards ..!!
: Sardaar ko uska Sasur joote mar raha tha…
Ek Aadmi: Kyun maar rahe ho is ko…???
Sasur: Maine isko hospital se whatsapp kiya ki 'Tum Baap Ban Gye Ho…'
Saale ne usko  bhi 50 doston ko forward kar diya…
��������
http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/01/happy-holi-whatsapp-status-and-images.html
Ek jagah par gaadi ki neelami ho rahi thi
10 Lakh
15 Lakh!
20 Lakh!
Santa ne gaadi ki taraf dekha, aur socha yeh gaadi to itni tooti footi haalat mein hai… phir bhi!!
Usse raha nahin gaya, aur Banta ke paas jaker bola
Santa: Yeh puraani tooti footi car ki itni keemat kyun laga rahe hain yeh log, aisi kya khoobi hai iss car mein?
Banta: Arey Paaji, maine suna hai, jo bhi iss gaadi ko khareedta hai uski Biwi ka accident ho jata hai!!
Santa: 50 Lakh!!
After his Divorce a husband came out of the court jumping,dancing, singing
His friend asked him why he was so happy. He replied "Court has said to pay my wife half of my salary."
Friend asked "Why are you happy?"
He said "From now on I can have half of my salary."
http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/01/valentine-day-sms-for-whatsapp-and_22.html
Barbara Walters was doing a story on gender roles in Afghanistan
She noted that women customarily walked 10 feet behind their husbands
Impressed she approached one of the Afghani women and said,
"This is marvellous! What a nice gesture of respect to a husband.
Is there any specific reason to this custom?"
The lady whispered, "Land Mines"
http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/01/valentine-day-pics-and-dp-for-whatsapp.html
Wife drinking Vodka, 
asked
"Tum kaun ho?"

Husband- 
"Pagal ho gayi ho kya? 
Apne husband ko bhool gayi? " 

Wife: "Nasha 
har gum bhula deta hai"
"Bhaisaab"..!!

 Teacher :
“Can you tell the name of 2 great Kings who have brought happiness & peace into people's lives ?”

Student :
“Smo-king & Drin-king ” !!!

Teacher Resigned !
http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/01/valentine-day-messages-for-whatsapp-and.html

Ghor Kalyug!!
Teacher: Who was Akbar ?  
Boy: Akbar was Gay. 
Teacher:- What, Are you mad ? Why did you say that? 
Boy:- We have heard  Laila - Majnu , Heer -Ranjha , Soni- Mahival ,Romeo-Juliet  
But Only 
Akbar - Birbal !
Teacher died
Ultimate Hit!!
Train mai Warning likhi thi......." Bina Ticket Safar karne wale Yaatri Hoshiyaar!!!!!!.. "
Sardar- Waah ji Waah..,
Aur humne ticket li to Hum Bewakoof???
BABA Ramdev Kehte Hai, "Achhi Sehat K Liye Saas Par Control Kare"
Ab Baba Ko Kon Samajhaye Ki,
Logo Se Biwi Control Nahi Hoti To Saas Par kaise  Control Kare.


Jethalal- aare daya, raat ko Mobile charging me mat rakho, Blast ho jayega,
Daya- tapu ke papa, Aap tension mat lijiye maine battery nikal di he. 

Who was the 1st INDIAN to use 4G.
Ans: It's Anil kapoor.! aG ,oG, lo G, suno G.

Mayawati came 2 Lalu's house with an elephant,
Lalu- bhaiswa ke sath aaye ho?
Mayawati- dikhta nahi elephantwa hai.
Lalu- dhutt pagli, hum elephantwa se puch raha hu.

Shaadi me Sardar ne plate pe tissue paper dekh k socha ye bhi khane wali chez hai. Jaise hi wo khane laga, to Sab Sardar Chillaye "Oye Mat Kha, Feeka hai"

TEACHER: Wo Kaun Sa Department He Jisme Aurat Kaam Nahi Kar Sakti?
STUDENT: Fire Brigade.
TEACHER: Wo Q?
STUDENT: Aurato Ka Kaam AAG Lagana Hai, Bujhana Nahi !!!!!

http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/01/rose-day-sms-and-messages-for-facebook.html
Girl:Nice mobile, Where did u buy?
Boy:I won dis in a running race !
Girl:How many persons participated?
Boy:MOBILE OWNER, POLICE & ME. 

Teacher: can you define who is a Lecturer?
Student: Lecturer is a person Who has a very bad habit of Speaking when someone is sleeping                                            

          Whatsapp And Facebook Jokes In Hindi            

लड़की – क्या कर रहे हो?
लड़का – मूंगफली खा रहा हूँ।
लड़की – Haww! अकेले अकेले,
लड़का – अब 10 रूपये की मूंगफली में भण्डारा करू क्या….!!

http://whatsappprofile.blogspot.in/2016/02/whatsapp-facebook-status.html

संता: तेरा भाई आजकल क्या कर रहा है?
बंता: एक दुकान खोली थी, पर अब जेल में है!
संता: वो क्यों?
बंता: दुकान हथोड़े से खोली थी!

गर्लफ्रेंड: मैं अपना पर्स घर पर भूल आई, मुझे 1000
रुपये की जरूरत है।
बॉयफ्रेंड: कर दी न छोटी बात,
पगली यह ले…… 10 रुपये।
अभी रिक्शा करके घर जा
और पर्स ले आ।
गर्लफ्रेंड बेहोश           
एक पाकिस्तानी लड़के ने अमेरिकन स्कूल में एडमिशन लिया।
टीचर: तुम्हारा नाम क्या है?
लड़का: अहमद।
टीचर: अब तुम अमेरिका में हो, इसलिए आज से तुम्हारा नाम जॉन है।
लड़का घर पहुंचा।
मां: पहला दिन कैसा रहा अहमद?
लड़का: मैं अब अमेरिकन हूं और आगे से मुझे जॉन कहकर पुकारना।
मां और पापा ने यह सुनते ही उसकी जमकर धुनाई कर दी।
शरीर पर चोट के निशान लिए अगले दिन वह स्कूल पहुंचा।
टीचर: क्या हुआ जॉन?
लड़का: मेरे अमेरिकन बनने के 4 घंटे बाद ही मुझ पर 2 पाकिस्तानियों ने हमला कर दिया।
Sir: Birbal Kon Tha?
Student : Pta Nahi.
Sir: Padhai Pe Dhyan Do to Pta Chale.
Student: Raj,Sunny,Bunty, Kon Hain?
Sir: Pta Nhi.
Student: Beti Pe Dhyan Do to Pta Chale..
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